No matter what the circumstances may be surrounding the dissolution of a marriage, divorce hurts.  It is a brutal act of ripping apart two individuals who have become one flesh.  Viewing a marriage through spiritual eyes, Genesis 2:24 describes how a man and a woman should leave their families and cleave unto each other to become one flesh.  The breaking of that union is damaging to everyone involved.

I did not understand the extensive affects of divorce until two years ago when my husband of five years walked out on our marriage.  There are times we do all that we can and a spouse still chooses to leave for their own, possibly selfish reasons.  Other times two people simply decide this is just not working.  When divorce happens what do you do?  Should you just face the fact that your spouse won’t be coming back?  Should you continue to pray for God to defy your spouse’s will and bring him/her back regardless of what he/she wants?  Should you just forget the past and choose to immediately move forward?  These, among many others, are difficult questions to face when dealing with separation and/or divorce.  I believe the greatest challenge is to maintain your Christian character no matter what the situation.

When your emotions are raging and there is confusion and uncertainty it may be difficult to handle yourself in a godly manner, but this is what the Lord requires of us.  Romans 12:9-21 discusses behaving as a Christian. Romans 12:18 says, If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. As much as depends on you, God is ultimately putting the decision to choose peace in our hands.  As my spouse’s words became more and more despicable towards me I had to make the decision to live peaceably even when the enemy was bombarding me with thoughts of retaliation.  I had to focus on what God wanted me to do with all of the madness going on in my life.

In the midst of a divorce or separation we tend to focus on moving forward but we must allow ourselves the time and space to grieve the death of our marriage or allow God the opportunity to work to restore what you may believe has been destroyed forever.  The world will tell us to move into a new relationship and forget the past but we serve a God of restoration.

God is clear in His word that He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16).  Marriage is a lifetime commitment and should not be entered into lightly.  I encourage those of you who are married to recommit to maintain a godly marriage standard.  To those of you considering divorce, know that it is no easy road.  Do all that you can to keep your marriage intact and when you can’t do anymore, let God take over.  Be clear of God’s destiny for marriage; one man, one woman, one life time.

Blessings,

Satricia

sattywi@yahoo.com