Saturday night on Twitter, @RCafe asked the following questions; should couples marry to ‘do the right thing’?  If a couple finds themselves pregnant, should they marry?  Is this the ‘right thing’?

My first reply was: “NO!” While you shouldn’t have been having sex with her outside of marriage, many women lie about birth control to trap a good guy who’s really not interested in marrying her.  You definitely don’t want to marry that kind of  manipulative woman.

My next reply was; you already made one mistake, don’t make another.  Have your baby, raise your child and see where the relationship goes. Babies are cute in the beginning and tend to bring couples closer however, the novelty wears off and then its back to reality.  Do you like your reality?

And then this came to me while driving down the freeway; doing the “right” thing after you’ve done the wrong thing doesn’t make the wrong thing right. Many couples do the “right thing” and end up staying together for the sake of the kids or getting a divorce.  Marriage could make a wrong thing right or it could be the regret of your life.  Like I said above, have your child.  Love your child.  Commit to being an excellent father to your child.   Commit to loving the mother of your child.  Focus on raising your child together and if you can succeed at that then maybe marriage is the next step.  Don’t feel like it has to be; it doesn’t.

In addition, making the most important decision of your life when your hands are tied and your back is up against the wall is not the best way to make that decision.   Its why I tell ladies today to make him marry you.  Isn’t that what Beyonce’s song is about? If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it! Stop giving away wife priviledges to a boyfriend or some dude who has no interest in doing right by you from the gate.

Erect a standard in your life of no sex outside of marriage – period.  Know that if you’re good enough to bed, you oughta be good enough to wed.  Make a decision today to follow the good Lord’s plan of marriage THEN a baby carriage.  If more women made this decision and stuck by it, men would have no choice but to change their behavior.  While men have the penis, women have all the power.  Its time for us to know it and act like we know it.  Watch this video if you need a reminder…

What say you? Should couples “do the right thing?” Does doing the right thing make it right? Have you done the right thing? How did it turn out for you?

Something to think about…

Yvonne Chase is a Dating & Relationship Coach to Singles and Pre-Committed Couples.  Visit her website http://www.yvonnechase.com to learn more.